What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
