so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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