Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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