I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
