I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
