I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
