it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize