I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
