no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
