She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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