Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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