Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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