I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
