lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
