I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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