we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
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My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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