Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You smell like stripper and shame
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
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My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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