So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
