in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
