i don't like sucking hair
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
