I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
