All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize