I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
