Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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