just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My vagina is officially offended.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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