I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
