so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
