You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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