she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
