I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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