So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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