I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji