Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.

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(843): Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca. http://tfl.nu/m05t

Replies (21) Good night (877) Bad night (2830)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.

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(484): Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date. http://tfl.nu/zs6r

Replies (22) Good night (598) Bad night (3353)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.

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(828): there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not. http://tfl.nu/i6ea

Replies (96) Good night (1473) Bad night (4681)
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(716): View more from New York

She's like a pop up book from hell.

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(716): She's like a pop up book from hell. http://tfl.nu/grf5

Replies (18) Good night (1127) Bad night (4200)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.

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(804): Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning. http://tfl.nu/1rpm

Replies (9) Good night (3563) Bad night (971)
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(702): View more from Nevada

It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.

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(702): It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life. http://tfl.nu/mba1

Replies (18) Good night (3418) Bad night (2653)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals

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(770): Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals http://tfl.nu/cikb

Replies (17) Good night (1856) Bad night (939)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.

(770): View more from Georgia

That's the only definition of lonely that I know.

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(910): Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely. (770): That's the only definition of lonely that I know. http://tfl.nu/dtij

Replies (8) Good night (2272) Bad night (840)
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(773): View more from Illinois

It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car

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(773): It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car http://tfl.nu/9u20

Replies (4) Good night (494) Bad night (904)
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(425): View more from Washington

The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.

(541): View more from Oregon

Mole people?

(425): View more from Washington

Mole people

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(425): The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are. (541): Mole people? (425): Mole people http://tfl.nu/8coi

Replies (8) Good night (1409) Bad night (512)
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(510): View more from California

Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?

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(510): Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye? http://tfl.nu/6n0k

Replies (6) Good night (1027) Bad night (455)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.

(1-816): View more from Missouri

I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.

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(816): I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week. (1-816): I think we all know your liver needs a man's name. http://tfl.nu/bufv

Replies (7) Good night (1147) Bad night (440)
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(408): View more from California

We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar

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(408): We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar http://tfl.nu/h9fi

Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (424)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.

(708): View more from Illinois

And it tastes incredible.

(708): View more from Illinois

And I have chest pains.

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(708): I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee. (708): And it tastes incredible. (708): And I have chest pains. http://tfl.nu/iw1m

Replies (7) Good night (1360) Bad night (625)
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(208): View more from Idaho

One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.

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(208): One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody. http://tfl.nu/x1xc

Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (360)

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