Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sounds like a blessing in disguise

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  (734): I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth (248): Sounds like a blessing in disguise http://tfl.nu/a82v
  Replies (13) Good night (2555) Bad night (883)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

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  (804): she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off. http://tfl.nu/ypig
  Replies (27) Good night (5914) Bad night (957)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes

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  (563): he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes http://tfl.nu/4qyv
  Replies (22) Good night (1349) Bad night (4965)
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  (212): View more from New York

  It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.

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  (212): It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/fa0p
  Replies (24) Good night (5599) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  He just called me juicy booty via text message.

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  (812): He just called me juicy booty via text message. http://tfl.nu/j99z
  Replies (6) Good night (1899) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt

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  (425): I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt http://tfl.nu/d0wp
  Replies (1) Good night (1608) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it

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  (225): Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it http://tfl.nu/wgow
  Replies (8) Good night (1128) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Wtf did you do last night?

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  (573): Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much? (636): Wtf did you do last night? http://tfl.nu/0xxc
  Replies (12) Good night (1735) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.

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  (417): Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow. http://tfl.nu/if3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1525) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.

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  (414): i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down. http://tfl.nu/jxq4
  Replies (9) Good night (1146) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird

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  (608): I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird http://tfl.nu/y10m
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.

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  (718): It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail. http://tfl.nu/rl3q
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.

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  (209): We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela. http://tfl.nu/h3z9
  Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.

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  (228): Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high. http://tfl.nu/9q6n
  Replies (3) Good night (1003) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them

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  (917): She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them http://tfl.nu/qyhd
  Replies (13) Good night (372) Bad night (687)

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