He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs