Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.