Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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