I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
