I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
