whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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