Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I look better un-naked...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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