fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i think i just lost a toe
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
