Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
