Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
