Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
