I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
