I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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