i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize