Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
