literally had 100 drinks last night.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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