Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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