What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
