i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
