dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
