Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
