So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
