FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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