So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
