Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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