I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
